#but like idk if i wanna read hs^2 is it worth the read

[charxan]

I really wish there was more dancestor stuff, like offical things idk. i love all the fandom works but it makes me a little sad we dont get to really see any other one besides meenah pretty much, no porrim and no latula and mituna, ect.

[abcdosaka]

i have not posted on here in a while. idk various things have happened. but heres the most recent stuff.

this is sorta fresh (literally 2 days ago) but im mostly over it i think? i made a hinge account and briefly talked to this girl and i liked talking to her but i think i just dont know how to rizz someone up, or maybe ik and i dont have the courage to do it so i gotta play nice girl from the start. and i think our second phone call i was just kinda lacking in energy and i wasn’t texting her too often either. but at the end of it she was like lets just be friends going forward.

i havent really had any experiences before, like real ones where i was the one initiating everything, so it hurt, kinda like getting rejected for a job interview. i was like ig im just not outgoing or funny or charming enough but damn we talked like twice on the phone, we never even met up, that quick huh.

tbh i think i initiated slightly more and she was less interested and she also made it pretty clear she wasnt sure about getting into a relationship. idk its not worth analyzing. we do have a lot of similar tastes but if she wants to be friends she has to initiate and i might blow her off anyway i dont feel like talking to her anymore lol. or maybe ill respond but just really slowly. ik its giving nice guy/friendzoned. ehhh i might respond she was nice/friendly enough i just need time to get over it fully. i think this is a lets see how im feeling in a week situation. to be fair sometimes good friendships pop up out of bad experiences for me like i thought D was a huge dick when i first met him but we got along well for the time we knew each other

idk i would rather have someone who knows what they want and is certain about it too. but in the first place i dont even want to talk to ppl like its such a hassle texting randoms multiple days in a row. i got a couple other likes and i just ignored them. ive ghosted two ppl bc i just was sick of the texting going nowhere.

tbh i think im just sad bc my ego’s a little bruised. but idk that happens to me easily like applying for a job sucks and it hurts to get rejected and having a job kinda sucks too but its required. relationships, kinda the same but i dont think its required? they never seemed that great or fun or loving to me, prob bc my parents hated each other for 90% of my childhood. even when i see relationships in fiction im like oh cute but idk if i really need that.

im more upset that i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. and im upset s didnt wanna meet over reading week. like besties for 10 years but you couldnt free up a space for me even tho i asked like 3 weeks ago. idk if i can even call us besties. i used to be so insecure abt what kinda friendship we had but now im kinda sick of this. maybe i should ask. i kinda hate feeling needy or sounding clingy though. idk i was pretty friendly in my response

she didnt even receive it T_T

idk she hasnt responded to any messages frequently for the past month so shes probably really busy but ugh i fucking hate this. i just wish she’d check in for once like “hey sorry ive just been really busy the past month and havent had the energy or time to respond but hopefully ill have some time soon”. cuz the thing is its kinda typical of her to flake/be distant/antisocial. like after we graduated hs she ignored my messages for a month and she promised not to do that again. and when we hung out for the last time before i moved for uni she overslept and i think shes done that two or three times since. its really frustrating when we dont get to see each other than often. so if i ask her its gonna be like this is an isolated incident but its not and im prob not gonna see her again after i graduate uni bc i wanna move across the country. and we almost never call bc everytime i ask she doesnt want to. i think thats just her hating calling but how tf else are we supposed to stay in contact when we live in different cities??? and texting for hours on end is fking annoying? same difference ik a bit hypocritical there but also, calling means u can multitask but texting means u have to focus solely on texting unless you wanna respond every 2 hours or even worse, every 5 minutes, theres no flow unless you pay full attention to texting.

and the thing that sucks even harder. is that we had a mutual friend, j, who was her BESTIE for middle school and almost all of highschool. (i had a crush on this chick btw but never told her and i kinda stopped talking to her in senior year). and j did the same fucking thing like she decided she didnt wanna talk to people she knew before highschool anymore and basically just slowly cut s out of her life. and s was so upset abt it she told me abt it a lot

see the thing is if i do confront her about ALL of this, i  think its gonna go the worst way possible. like we will slowly drift apart and im gonna lose my closest friend who probably doesnt even consider me at least one of her closest friends. and then im fucked. i mean im not fucked but im starting from ground zero.its really hard not having someone you know you can rely on. altho maybe shes not the most reliable and ive been coping by pretending im independent and dont need anyone for emotional shit. maybe im just catastrophizing. like on one hand, i truly am unsure enough abt our friendship that idk if she’d make an effort after i move real far. but on the other hand i am a known pessimist and i suck at this people bullshit. so idk if i should ask or not.

ugh i shouldnt have wrote this. i was like “if i go in depth on this post i wont be able to stop and then im gonna cry and i dont wanna cry. i should try to keep it light.” like lol. at least it was good practice for typeracer. im gonna do one race and go to sleep. this is frustrating

[luvargas]

     i think i just saw LUCILA “ LU ” VARGAS ride by on a golf cart . at least i think it was her . after all , CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD BY HOLE was blasting on the transistor radio . maybe she was on her way to work , i hear she’s a PERSONAL TRAINER . but she totally could have been on her way to SNEAK IN A SMOKE AT THE GARDEN . guess we’ll never know . you’ll definitely know its her when you see LOOSE AND TANGLED HAND WRAPS , BUTTON BADGES ON VEGAN LEATHER ,  AND HEAR THE SHRILL SOUND OF BICKERING around the country club . let’s just hope she stays off the green after hours or else the sprinklers will get her !

( new muse, messy thoughts, u get the gist. pls know the views of this chara do not reflect my own. the name’s katya, 21, she/her pronouns & im ready 2 party. feel free to hmu wnvr or drop a like to plot n ill com 2 u ! x — oh n pls be a pal n read this quick disclaimer. tysm ! )

BASICS

24 years old

15 april 1997

5′1″ or 1.55m tall

bisexual cis woman, she/her

aries sun, aqua moon, and aqua rising

love languages : quality time & acts of service

BIO POINTS

kid o’ divorce, lived w her ma in chicago til she was 6 then w her dad in highlands til 14 then back to her ma ! 

def a daddys gorl. so used to her white pop’s leniency that livin w her strict latina ma durin her teen yrs was So Not Her Vibe ergo * cue her rebel grrrl phase *

did not finish hs ! left senior yr 2 to go w her “ radically progressive ” college bf to [ insert dev country. ] they broke up after a few mos but she kept at that life for a couple more yrs

seen some places. lived in new countries. done some shit. some good, some sus, but all generally well-intentioned. tis a whole thing but u get the gist, nywy !

lu’s back in da usa by 21. rel w the ma is strained but the pa is chill w stuff, they kept in touch. he said shell get her college fund if she gets her ged so she does !

her dad is v active n stuff so shes just always been v sporty w him. lu turnin 23 w zilch plans worried him so he implored her to get certified as a personal trainer ! n when she did, he called in a few favors w a pal he knows et voilà ! ur hired.

LU AT WORK

shes been workin at the country club fr a little over a yr now. most her clients are influencer-type gals n they luv her bc shes can take rlly cute pics n stuff for content. lu sorta likes some of em n she fakes the rest for the bread. u can bet she clowns all em richies behind their back   

unless she got clients, catch her runnin’ about the club n minglin’ w the other workers. does it annoy mngmt ? yes. n she luvs that. but bc her soon-2-b-karen clients luv her n wont stand for her bein booted, she can milk that impunity

actually knows her shit n lowkey rlly enjoys the work. she picked back up the boxing n tae kwon do she did when she was younger plus she was always in the track team at school. v healthy lifestyle save for her smokin vice n the party moments

PERSONALITY 

passionate ! has lotsa opinions. helluva a drama queen, bit of a loud mouth, argumentative n stubborn but her heart’s in the right place, albeit a lil misguided. comes w the whole activist bit, bitin her tongue just aint it. highkey makes everythin political n smtms gotta realize .,.,. it just aint that deep chief. some say shes needlessly defiant, but maybe thats a in the beholder typa thing ? fingers crossed 4 lu’s sake

fun, fun, fun ! can be real naggy but shes no buzzkill. wannabe anarchist-slash-mutineer who wants 2 stick it 2 the man ! get rowdy go crazy

fight, fight, fight ! goin back to the first bit, she talks big. esp w like ,, men n the whites lol. she can actually walk her threats tho she isnt actually violent. w arguments, she likes to start em but finishin is ... ruff.  also any dare, she wont back down in either doin it or arguin why doin it wld be smth-ist. shes not the sharpest tool ok rip lu

loyal legend ! fr her friends n buds, shell turn a blind eye. pals r the only exception ! truly ride or die n will do errthng 4 em. v much a believer in the power of community n ppl needin ppl or wtvr, yk, all that stuff. shes mouthy but like, she helps ppl 

here’s a brief blurb n a more coherent look into lu as a character

TIDBITS

lu can understand spanish but hers is a bit broken, tis her secret shame shhh

she doesn’t believe in the institution. any institution. u name it, shes got beef

pls dont fact check her she cant hear u

probs lowkey thinks shes better than u bc shes vegan

prefers 2 be called “ lu ” n ny1 who insists on lucila is dead 2 her 

comments abt her not lookin like a pt w her height n frame will result in an earful n a dramatic outburst. it aint worth it chief

watches lotsa sports w her pops. mostly indiv ones. mma, boxing, tennis, track, etc

dont ask me abt her principles n politics, i cant explain em either. v inconsistent n just messy at this point tbh but here’s a lil attempt ig

she drives a 2018 prius n lives in a p nice 1br apt outside the club

her mom’s middle class n her dad is almost upper-middle class. he isnt a member of the club but, like ,,, he cld be if he wanted to lol. he spoils her sm while she hasnt rlly Spoken to her mom besides civility, rip they both stubborn, tis a vargas thing

she is v much in a comfy position money-wise n dsnt hav much Need to hustle but sis does hav a couple of organizations she regularly sends some dough to so thats nice ig

she went fr grassroots activist to a veteran twitter/tumblr/reddit/wtvr ranter n a change.org gofundme petition regular. is it burnout ? is she ok ? honestly who knows

WANTED CONNECTIONS / TAKEN CONNECTIONS

found family ! pals n squad wanted. y’all gotta hav patience or ear plugs to power thru her self-indulgent mini-rants but shell luv ya back tenfold !

carpool buds ? cld be a pal ! or maybe yall had a lil argument or small beef but lu still drives ym bc her pride ? said mother earth first even tho the tension n silly drama is funny 

homies to smoochies ! just sum nsa makin out. cld be pals, cld be flirty, idk, but if u wanna kiss her shes probs ok w that

smoke bud ! just sum1 thats her go-to 2 smoke w on her breaks. knows not to call her out on how its not healthy fr a trainer yada yada she knows ok. let her live

an ex ? idk yet shes not rlly datey but thats out there

crushes ! this bitch hot but does she know how to flirt ? not rlly. watch her fumble

debate club ! aka sum1 she bickers w relentlessly. its valid, sum1 fite her. r u a worker or a club member ? either works. its a whole club bc she can have tons, lu can be hella annoying n testy

clients ! self-explanatory. do they get along tho ? lets find out ! 

( im officially braindead now but if y’all got more ideas or think theres smth lu wld fit just lmk !!! down 4 wtvr, wld luv 2 hash it out w yall <3 ) 

[promise-of-a-lifetime]

4am anxious rambling

i’m really anxious and having a bit of an existential crisis right now so i’m just gonna vent here a little bit wlejnfwlejw hello to everyone who decides to read this ! i’m egg !! i’m trying to figure out what to do but i’m really struggling TwT i don’t have any direction and i’m lost after graduating high school, i did like 2 semesters of first year college before stopping to take a year break to figure out what i want to do. fast forward to now, i’m 24, 6 years post grad, and i’ve been working part-time at fast food for 5 years. i’m trying to look into getting back to school (programs, degrees, etc) but the further i read into this stuff, the more i wanna d word honestly i can’t find anything i want to do, anything that interests me, or anything that i’d be able to succeed in (i truly think there’s nothing i’m good at) i keep thinking to myself, if i just pursued some type of bachelor’s degree when i got right out of high school, i would be searching for a professional job at this point x v x it’s all in the past now, it can’t be changed and i can only mourn for those lost years of opportunity---but i still can’t help but think that if i started early, i would have made something of myself by now what have i been doing? i’ve wasted so much time, i feel like a disappointment to my parents, and i’m having so many regrets and having a crisis about it wlejfnwlejfw

i do understand that it’s never too late to start ! i also know that i shouldn’t pursue a degree just to achieve, that i should do it if i want to, if it will be meaningful to me in the long run since degrees don’t guarantee anything either

what do i like and what makes me happy? i like art but my drawings aren’t worth...anything really. never been commissioned before in my life. i want to try making stickers and enamel pins but i don’t think my art is good enough. so many younger ppl are so much more skilled and i feel like i can’t catch up to them. i regret not making myself learn the fundamentals like anatomy/colour/shade back in hs and now i have to backtrack so much i like to write, as in roleplaying. it’s fun to write out characters and kinda---live vicariously through them? ; v ; i like animals but a vet job is not for me. maybe there’s something i can do in digital media? idk about that either---i thought about animation too, but i don’t think i can do that bc i’m not good at art wlejfnwlj since working at my fast food job, ppl have told me i have a nice voice so i wonder if i’d be able to do something with it? like narrating? could i ever be a voice actor? lol i think my hands look nice...i wondered about being a hand model. i also thought about doing something with video games? but i don’t think i’m smart enough i thought about writing a book about the heartbreak i went through in my teenage years (that is still ongoing now tbh). but would anyone read it? anime makes me happy T v T  so i like haikyuu a lot right? and my mind just went on a tangent, ‘what if you started playing volleyball when you were younger?’ and like---not that i ever wanted to be a pro sports player or anything but my mind was like ‘what if you did that and pursued it, you could’ve become a professional athlete but now it’s too late’ i guess it freaks me out thinking about stuff like that---of an opportunity squashed and out of reach forever bc i didn’t start early enough. but i’m also here squashing my self-worth and my capabilities. i fear failure so much. i keep thinking i’ll fail when i haven’t even tried yet. so yeah i’m going through a crisis aha wlejfnlwejfw  i just...want to be happy TwwT want to make my parents proud. want to be successful and doing something i enjoy. i want to make myself proud but i’ve always felt like i’m worthless wahhh i’m so, so sorry for wasting your time if you read this far ;ww; but if you did, thank you so much for listening to me for a little while. if anyone has any advice to offer, pls IM me !! i could use all the help i can get qwq

[notyobabygirl]

hey girl! this will be long i’m so sorry 🥺

i’ve gained weight since quarantine started which is also around the time i started dating my bf. we eat out a few days a week and i get 0 exercise now. my days consist of me waking up around 8am, babysitting until 5pm, going to my bf’s house until 1am, coming home & spending the rest of my night watching my shows and snacking until i go to bed around 2/3/4am. growing up my weight would fluctuate a lot: in elementary school i was chubby, in middle school i magically lost it all and was skinny, freshman/sophomore year of hs i was a literal twig and super unhealthily skinny, junior year i gained a little weight but was still skinny, and senior year (last year also when i first met my bf) was probably the best my body has been. it’s funny because last year i thought i was fat and was insecure but now looking back, i was literally perfect and i would kill to look like that again. i see how easy it was for me to gain weight over the years and i want to make a change in my habits so bad but with my schedule and with gyms being closed where i live it’s hard. i’m gonna try to not make excuses though lol but my issue is once i start, i want to see the results asap or i get really unmotivated. ik a girl from my school who has lost 70lbs since last year and she posted a tiktok about it and it made me feel better like i could do it. i have a weird relationship with food though. i would literally starve myself in 8,9,10th grade and now i love food and i actually have an appetite. my weight gain has also caused me to be insecure in my relationship. i’m constantly wondering if my bf is less attracted to me or if he notices it. he’s never mentioned it but i have to admit i was so much hotter when he first met me than i am now. and all his past girls that ik of are relatively skinny and i think about that too and compare myself :/ in the back of my mind i know i’m really insecure about gaining weight but i usually don’t let it get to me. but tonight i decided i wanted to ‘see what i look like from someone else’s view’ so i set up my phone using flash and the back camera and turned/posed so i could see how my body looked. i actually did a few of these videos (i was wearing a tight cropped tank top and baggy sweats). and i feel so disgusted by myself. i knew i gained weight but i looked like a whale from certain views. most of the weight i gained went to my tummy and arms sadly. from behind my arms/shoulders look so fat and my stomach is the biggest it’s ever been. most people wouldn’t consider me “fat” but i feel huge. i want to start good habits (eat better, exercise more, etc) but i don’t know where to start or how long i’ll last. i know it’ll be worth it in the end but i need motivation right now to even begin. i’m so sorry that was a literal book to read, but it would mean a lot if you had any tips on staying motivated, how i can eat healthier and exercise while having such a strict schedule? i don’t necessarily want to “diet” and the amount of information that is out there on eating habits and working out is so confusing. like everyone says different things and contradict each other that idk what i exactly should do to reach my goals. i want to lose general weight (especially in my tummy and arms) and overall be more confident and happy. thank you 🤍 sorry again for the length of this!

hi hi! well first of all I dont think your boyfriend got any less attracted to you at all! boys are also pretty oblivious. dont worry about what he thinks because its not important. he loves you for you and clearly if he has never even said anything then that proves my point even more! also wanna say I have taken self timer pictures of my body and I was mortified too lol. like I swear it made me look 10x worse than I did so dont look too much into the pictures. adding exercise into your diet will help so if you want to wake up before babysitting (I dont blame you if you dont lol) then that would be a great way to start the morning and get it over with. but If you dont then after babysitting take an hour to go to the gym or do workouts at home. to lose weight you need to be in a calorie deficient. if you do little to no activity during the day and just eat shit all day then it will catch up with you (it did to me beginning of the year). dedicate ATLEAST 30 minutes into doing something. I have been so into walking for an hour and listening to podcasts, its like my fav things. eating healthy is the most important part though, tell your boyfriend you are eating healthy and you will go with him to get food but you won't always get something or you will find the healthiest option. growing up I always thought that eating healthy means eating gross foods but eating healthy can be soooo yummy. tik toks really helped me find recipes as well as going on Pinterest or even just going to the grocery store and experimenting. buy healthy snacks, veggies, skinny pop, halo top, hummus, rice cakes and pb, fruits, frozen fruit, smoothies. that helped me start losing weight and replacing unhealthy foods with good healthy ones. the grocery store is like the first step and getting into that mindset like ok im going to eat healthy is important. you know you can do it, anyone can do it. you just have to be ok with saying no to eating out and stuff. drink sooo much water, I have a 40oz hydro flask and I think I drink close to like 2 gallons not kidding. also tea!! I love tea so much. If you dont buy the junk food then you cant eat it! I know you can do this, you got this!!!!!!

[starredskins]

🍋🥝🍍 FOR ALL YOUR CHARACTERS

this is long so under the cut ... prepared for no one to read them but i’m considering them canon to me rn. i didn’t proofread these either so suck it. bitches. idk why the first one is so long but they’re more concise as u go down. i got tired. 

what kind of diet does my muse have ? do they eat regularly, or the standard 2-3 meals a day ? do they have to be reminded to eat, or are they likely to remind others ? do they cook, or have others cook for them ? do they eat healthily, or not so much ?  

pippa: pippa eats pretty regularly and pretty well. she’s not likely to remind other people in general, but she probably badgers chelsea and used to badger kevin about it. she’s not necessarily a health nut, but she’s more inclined to be eating a salad than a burger. she has a soft spot for pizza though, and can never say no to a slice. meals are usually reserved for healthy food so she can eat gross food if she gets the munchies. she doesn’t know how to cook and has no intention of learning. 

kitty: three square meals a day, thank you very much. vegan, duh. she’s annoying about it too. she’s not even the cool kind of vegan where she only eats oreos and chips, either, she’s into growing her own vegetables. HUGE fan of pasta though. it’s called carb-loading, look it up. will forget to eat a lot because she’s too busy ... idk sticking it to the man or working overtime at home depot. cooks for herself and is pretty good @ it. she brings her own dinners to family dinner nights when she can’t peer pressure mama apolskis into making vegan food. 

teddy: his mommy makes him his dinners. chronic breakfast skipper because he has tummy troubles in the morning. forgets to eat a lot until he’s like, starving at 4pm. i can’t imagine him being that into junk food, though in the sense of chips and candies. maybe he’s a pizza roll stannie. that feels right. he’s okay in the health department, other than the fact that he doesn’t eat for the first half of the day. lots of fruits and veggies! could never remind anyone to eat because he doesn’t wanna step on any toes. remember when teddy was dead and couldn’t eat?

lenora: hugely into three square meals a day. EXCELLENT cook, and probably makes dinner for her family a lot. it’s part of being raised to be #domestic. so she’s also good at baking. lemon squares are her specialty, thank you very much. she doesn’t eat them though. she’s like a baby bird ... picking at food. it’s why she’s so small. much more likely to remind someone to eat than anyone else, but also needs to be reminded. i’ve decided she’s REALLY into salt and vinegar potato chips. quote me on it.

does my muse have any ‘unusual’ habits, interests,  and / or talents ? do they hide it, or are they proud of it ?  

pippa: pippa has no talents or interests. integral to her character arch. i will not be taking questions. does alcoholism count as a habit? 

kitty: kitty is really good at gardening, actually. she’s not just pretentious and weird about making her own things. she’s proud of it. in fact, she’ll brag about it. anyone want some tomatoes?

teddy: he’s a smart king !!! he’s a really quick reader and has been since he was a kid, and is also pretty good at math. he’s organized too. it’s called being SMART. he’s proud of it but he doesn’t go around bragging about it. he did write essays and do math homework for other people in hs all the time though, even though the idea of cheating made him freak.

lenora: lenora has an excellent memory. she’s good at math ! she’s smart and not just ... being a good christian girl ! i’ve decided she’s good with numbers bc it helps her memorize bible verses. 

how comfortable is my muse in their body ? how do they feel about their height, weight, strength,  and body type ? how important is being attractive to them ?  

pippa: i think she’s pretty secure in how she looks, but not nearly as secure as she lets on. the majority of her insecurities come from her .... everything else. i do, however think, that she thinks she’s only attractive all dolled up. she’s obsessed with hair and makeup and clothes partially because she’s rich and spoiled and partially because it’s a security blanket. it’s what makes her feel worth anything !

kitty: kitty thinks she is the hottest shit ever. no further questions !

teddy: teddy is very insecure. he always thinks he’s too this or too that or WHATEVER. he def does not think he is the #handsome #king he is. even if his mommy tells him so. which she should btw. mads if you’re reading this ... he also wishes he were taller btw. just thought u all should know

lenora: lenora is also probably pretty insecure, not because of anything she finds particularly wrong with herself, but i imagine she’s always comparing herself to her sister ( RIP BARB 2020-2020 )  or her mom or other girls @ church ... her insecurity is very much stemmed from the fact that she thinks looking @ pretty girls means she wants to be like them. yeah. 

[abundantchewtoys]

HS Epi: Meat p19 reaction

I... don't really know what to expect anymore.

What could the wallet contain. A Dad note. A Terezi note. Or captchalogued people?

Odds are even we won't be seeing it right away. Though I'd dread to see Dirk's omniscient narrative voice take over narration of the post-victory scenes.

Still, Dirk should know better by now than to rely on his strong points this much. They're not evened out by a reliable moral compass all the time, and he's seen the results of that before. Guess with great knowledge comes great arrogance.

"Anyway, back to the B Plot." Ah yes, the B Plot. On Earth C. Featuring A2 trolls Karkat and Kanaya.

"Right about now, Jade should be wrapping up her political presentation to Roxy and Calliope" Ah, skipping right to the end of that, are we.

"Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam." Ah yes, one of these definitely led to the other.

"neoliberal austerity measures" How often can we repeat the same 3 words?

"

Roxy groans upon hearing the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures” for no less than the third time in this presentation." Roxy the audience surrogate. Since it's our 3rd time too.

"JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2 JADE: and here in figure a-6" It's a good thing timelines can only be scratched the once. A6 Alternia would have been a dreadful sight.

"JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!) CALLIOPE: ^u^" Hah, Calliope's drawing skills have found another use! Political Powerpoints.

"JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!" That's a nice summary of the things that are wrong to Jane's approach, actually. Though it doesn't provide an answer to the underlying problem yet.

"ROXY: and u think karkat can do better? JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!" This really feels like a boardroom conference, with Jane trying to get a preliminary backing out of a captain of industry.

"Her graphs are floating around the living room in disarray." Hah, she's using her space powers for this in another mundane application. Though... not in any offical setting, it seems. Roxy and Calliope's home.

"CALLIOPE: i’m... CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?" To be fair, Calliope's probably going to follow Roxy in her eventual decision, anyway. Her childhood fascination with trolls might have been abandoned for new interests, or she might trust her friend's judgment in matters political.

"Calliope excuses herself from the conversation, and flees to the kitchen, seemingly making no attempt to disguise the fact that she is in fact fleeing." What a cutey. Calliope might in fact be trying to flee anything reeking of negativity, associating it with black romance and such.

"Jade deflates as she watches her go, sensing that her presentation wasn’t the slam dunk she was hoping for." It's so easy forgetting that the narration is also at least in part steering the story at this point. >_<

"ROXY: well i gotta say ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out" Maybe they would actually like to stay neutral?

"She and Calliope live in a belfry above New Prospit. One end of their living room is an oriel window that looks out over a public park. The other disappears into an arcading hallway lit at the far end by a giant stained glass window that Calliope made herself. The corbels supporting it have windy, abstract shapes carved into them." Artsy! I didn't know what to picture for their living space, but actually Calliope taking to carapacian art-deco and giving it a cheruban twist really works!

"That’s what keeps Jade Harley flitting from couch to couch, relationship to relationship. She can’t stop thinking to herself that “home” comes awfully close to rhyming with “alone.”" Home Alone, huh?

"Home is John, who doesn’t call anymore. Home is when Rose and Kanaya welcome her in from a cold night and help her set lyrics to her sick basslines. Home is here, snorting at Roxy’s irreverent method of storytelling and admiring Callie’s art. Home is Dave and Karkat." This REALLY reminds me of the Tramp, as he had a home in every street he frequented.

"ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends" She's had quite her fill of the dramas. That's a valid reason to stay out of it. She'll just have to weight it against the downsides of not influencing the outcome of the election in any positive way.

"JADE: dirk got to you first ROXY: not even ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao ROXY: but dirks not the one running JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes? ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit" On the one hand I'm glad Roxy's got such a backbone, on the other hand, off course we know Dirk's still influencing the outcome at the moment. Also, uh, he's got no issues invading the lives of his friends personally, even after telling us off on the subject first.

"ROXY: but shes yknow JADE: ruthless? :B

Roxy frowns. Jade is being pretty unfair." I get the feeling Jade is less good at filtering her words lately. And I also get the feeling Dirk is starting to sow a little conflict.

"ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch JADE: you mean like....... the condesce? ROXY: wow ouch JADE: im not just imagining it though, right??? JADE: you see it too JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof* ROXY: is that what you guys think? ROXY: u and dave and karkat?" It's something they should have brought up via intermediary channels to Jane on beforehand. Not let fester until all they could think of to "stop" her was introduce a late-to-the-party candidate.

Jade might also be doubly upset with Jane for seemingly mirroring the Condesce, as they were both brainwashed by her.

"Roxy leans forward and stares Jade down, like she’s searching for something behind Jade’s eyes." That's the same thing she did with John! Guess she's trying to find out some of her secrets.

"Jade unwittingly responds in kind, looking for meaning behind Roxy’s gaze. But she comes up empty. And to be honest, so do I." That unfathomable personality might be your spanner in the works, Dirk. I can only hope she's secretly onto him. Her Void powers manifest the 'obscurity' different from Equius.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has." It's interesting, since they share so much in childhood upbringing, progeny, demeanor even at times...

"invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself" *coughDocScratchcough* ... What would Reload Roxy be doing right now, assuming the session's timeline didn't stop when Caliborn's soul 'left' it?

"ROXY: but shes not betty crocker ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings" N'aww.

"ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter" Second time the phrase's been used in the epilogues!

"CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU." Passive player to the brink.

"CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest. JADE: yeah JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!" It's nice to see they're cutting her some slack. A horrible childhood, an early death, a spiel as a ghost... Oh, sure, she's one of the good guys and as such would have some responsibilities in the end, but it's nice for a change they don't expect too much from her. Maybe a bit too little for her own good, but still.

"Calliope claps her hands together. It’s a bright noise. Her tone of voice is bright too. All these years and she still can’t believe that she has so many friends. She smiles at Jade, and Jade smiles back. The tea tastes great. The cakes are even better. Callie’s an artist in everything she does." ^u^ Aww, that warms my heart at least.

"JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!" ... Well, she's a more excellent host than Doc Scratch, for sure!

"ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”" ... I see! Well, guess we'll be getting some more insight into the androgyn bodies of cherubs and how Calliope has updated her self image over all these years? Caliborn still had the giant eyelashes, so it stands to reason there were also other, more masculine traits to Calliope's body even when she still shared it with her brother.

"JADE: oh wow!" Oh, I figured Jade already knew about Calliope's preferred pronouns, but it seems not!

"CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided." ... I just remembered how Calmasis also was this androgynous figure. ... I wonder if Calliope will be thinking about a name change.

So, I don't think Roxy's haircut is a sign she's genderfluid now too, but I imagine a lot of fanart has already been created for butch!Roxy by the time I read this.

"ROXY: m-me too actually" Oh. N-never mind then. That caught me unaware! I didn't see that in Roxy. For one, despite all the pink and the ponies, she didn't seem like she felt "trapped" in a role to me. Unlike Calliope, where I can see how she might have felt obliged to embrace everything not-Caliborn.

But this does shed a whole new light on Mom's overly childish and girlish bedroom in the lab. Like she was trying to compensate for something. Uhm... It might also be one of the main reasons behind her drinking problem. Her embracing girlish, adult woman habits but never feeling like they 'fit'.

Well well. Homestuck's main characters continue to be representation incarnate.

"Wait.

   What?" PFFFFFFFFFF. I love it. Dirk's reaction is gold. Guess this completely blindsided him too and didn't shed any more lights on the inner workings of her mind than he thought. So even if he knew she was holding something back after the "yea", and maybe encouraged her to keep speaking, he didn't know what to expect.

"Roxy? Seriously?

Like I said, fucking inscrutable." Dirk has NOT just had an "I knew it!" moment.

"I never would have guessed. Not that I’ve spent much time contemplating issues related to gender. I’m pretty secure in my expression of masculinity, and..." That's a suspiciously specific acknowledgement, though, Dirky boy. :P

"You know what? Fuck this. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of any sort on this topic. I’m confident with who I am, what I am, my gender, as well as my understanding of the concept. You want my honest opinion? It’s fucking fantastic. Good for them. Both of them, I mean, but also, both of them in a singular fashion, since each one can now individually be referred to by the conventionally plural word “them.”" Pffff, of all the things. I didn't think this would have Dirk fly off the handle in such a Dave-way, while still narrating, but I'm happy to see it. In an out-of-story sense, Dirk is currently the audience surrogate, showcasing what a "true fanboy"'s reaction could be like, if they were both shocked to the core but mature enough to get over their shock without throwing around accusations and tantrums.

But yeah, at least the aloofness is gone from his voice, for just this time.

"I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise." I can picture him speaking through gritted teeth, it's glorious! 'This is good, this is fine. I am doing great!'

"ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out" Ooh, so she's not even out to Jane or Rose yet!

"ROXY: what even is gender" That is SUCH a Roxy thing to say. Also, almost stoner like. Picture Gamzee going like (in his quirk): 'Have you ever really THOUGHT about gender, man? I mean, really THOUGHT about it.'

"Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say." "ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right? JADE: right" I think for Jade it's not something she'd discard so easily! I mean, it all depends on whether 'gender' is something antigonal to your self image, in the end, I guess. If it isn't hindering you... that's how you stay heteronormative in some or all elements.

"Calliope takes a teacake between two of her claws and eats it delicately, hyper-aware of the horrible gnashing and snapping her powerful jaw is capable of.

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

SHIT. Between two of /their/ claws." HAH. Oh my god. The narration cut off Calliope. ... Pffff, though it IS a good callout, since I've been using gendered pronouns still to refer to Calliope. Whoops!

"CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um... CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly." A) Still not saying his name :P B) Using his preferred pronouns.

"CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy. CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is. CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here." Oh right! Lord English & Doc Scratch helped shape Alternia's development, so in a lot of bad ways there was a focus on power and masculinity, which may have trickled down into Earth's because of who created our universe, and thus it might all have been a self fulfilling prophecy, what Caliborn's gender identity is concerned! Guess we were due another one of these loops. :P

"ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens ROXY: which is totally FUCKED JADE: sure" Yes, and so much of what Earth C "should" be like, as a victory state reward planet, and the epilogues by extension, exists only in the imagination of a bunch of dumb humans spread over this globe. :P I reek a callout. Not undeserved, mind.

"She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen." (Referring to Jade.) I'll grant you that, Dirk. But I thought you were doing paraphrasing other people's thoughts for the course of this conversation?

"i liked the idea of dirk" He'll love to hear that. :P Well, you know, Karkat had the same thing, he loved the idea of Condesce as a powerful leader, if not always the result of that leadership.

"ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e" Context!

"JADE: personally im a big fan!

And like that, Jade’s smiling again." Nothing like Dave & Karkat to lift her mood. :P

"The storm clouds pass so quickly in her world, you almost wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong at all. Roxy and Calliope certainly didn’t notice.

But there is something wrong. And this time, they’ll notice." Uhhh, wrong with Jade? Or something wrong with Earth C in general? Besides Dirk taking over, I mean. Oh no! ... Calliope left the kettle on! :P

"JADE: i... JADE: i.........

Jade drops her tea. The cup hits the floor and shatters." ... Is she passing out?? Just like Rose??

... Oh no. This doesn't have anything to do with John going back, retconning the timeline, and some of their selves being killed right? It shouldn't influence them, since they're from a different timeline, but with the talk about canon and relevance and truth and shit...

Is Dave going to pass out next???

Did John accidentally change the Reload timeline to be the alpha one, and is the future adjusting to the changes??? Or is it due to something to do with Lord English' powers in killing a different 'real' version of them?

"She takes in a sharp breath. She’s not feeling well suddenly. She’s dizzy, feverish, seeing things beyond her field of vision. A blinding flash of light. A black, perfect circle, burning a hole in her eyes." Wow. Just like John, she gets a vision of the Black Hole! So, maybe it's more like she gets backlash from suddenly absorbing the memories of Reload Jade.

"She doesn’t look bad at all— Jade wears unconsciousness well, having spent the better part of her life napping." Aaaand we're back in sleeping beauty terrain.

"But she can’t hear her. Jade is somewhere else right now." Uhhhhh. I thought they didn't really dream in the dreambubbles post-victory no more?? Also, those were all destroyed by LE, anyway.

Dang. That's weird.

Are the B1 kids (adults) actually going to be gathering in the Furthest Ring in 'person'? But why, and how? ... There isn't anything like a 'dreambubble self' body that persists in the Furthest Ring that John could have woken up like how you could wake people up on Derse and Prospit. ... Now I'm reminded of an old fanart I made of a green moon circling the Green Sun, with green dream selves for all humans & trolls we knew at the time (B1 and A2). :P

[natostine]

iiiittt’ssss HAPPY BDAY DN FIC REC TIME 🥳🎂

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @isntfateartistic !! You’re getting so old and I don’t like it but have some Death Note content of questionable taste anyway! Hopefully you can find something on this list you like and, if you do, TELL ME MAN. God I wanna reread like every fic I put on this thing

If you ever want more recs hmu because I have lots pleeeeeeaaassseee let me rec you incomplete fics over 5 years old 2008 had some gems okay

Putting the fics themselves under a read more for the smart people who didn’t live in this fandom throughout their entire hs career

Asylum by bahari | multichap | complete | 52k | mature | asylum au | lawlight: hey hey idk if you’re here for those torture fics but if you are this one is great! It’s pretty gory and it’s got that good ol’ psychological torture and trauma that I love. There’s a rescue and then a healing process that so well paces wh it isn’t rushed or anything which I think is hard to come by. There’s also a sequel to this fic that I think is completed and I’ve read them both a few times. Why I haven’t rec’d this to Pax idk they’d be all over this one

Bokeh by Smritz | multichap | complete | 98k+ | teen+| ??? au | lawlight: excuse me while I freak out last I checked this fic was incomplete AAAAAA How do I explain this au oh man it’s um, no death note, no Japan, amnesia, sort of historical, sort of fantasy au?? It’s entirely unique I’ve never seen this before but this fic is mainly about revolution--yeah, vive la France style revolution. It’s such an engaging read I went back through this one multiple times while it was still a wip and wowo it never gets old. Even I don’t know how this thing ends but the plot twists and the characterizations alone is worth the read

Change of Circumstances by wordbombs | one-shot | 8k+ | mature | orphan!Light, Wammy’s kid!Light | lawlight: pretty much just L and Light’s relationship developing over the years. It’s very fluffy and Light gets to be more of an outright prick and less of a murderer which is a nice change of pace

Checkmate by ZombieJesus | multichap | incomplete | 253k+ | explicit | canon divergence...like really, really canon divergence | lawlight, L/Light/B: so this fic is all about Light’s journey to literal godhood and all of the conspiracies and battles along the way. Pros: L and B backstory, Light gets a scythe, the shinigami lore game is Strong. Cons: so when I asked for what you wanted in fic you said preferably no incest but…listen it’s not quite incest but it’s along those lines so I figured you should be aware. Also the smut. You said you were g with NSFW but this fic has a lot of NSFW and some of it you can’t skip because plot stuff does happen so just look out for that. If those two things don’t bug you tho, check it out! I’ve never seen a fic where Light becomes a god before and it’s a good time. This fic is part 4 of a series but this is the main work and it’s better to read the prequels after Checkmate anyway--if you want to read them at all. For some reason I thought this fic was completed but dw because the author is very active on AO3 so even tho they haven’t updated this particular fic in a bit 2 years that doesn’t mean that it’s a lost cause

Darkness (is the absence of light) by SilverDoe290s | one-shot | 6k+ | teen+ | L wins au | Light + L, implied lawlight: you ever wanna be sad? this fic is all about L dealing with the fallout of solving the greatest case of his career so it Delivers™

Ecfigia by K (Thiswasmydesign) | one-shot | 3k | teen+ | poltergeist au | gen: this fic follows Mello haunted by L’s ghost from the time of his death up until the time of Mello’s. I think this fic is canon compliant because we have no evidence that Mello wasn’t haunted by a ghost. This is a really good read and if you crave Mello + L interactions, well, this is about the only way to get it lol

flowers grown in forgotten lungs by sybilius | multichap | complete | 23k+ | mature | flowershop au, drug au | lawlight: LIZZIE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS FIC! WHEN YOU ASKED FOR RECS THIS IS THE FIC I THOUGHT OF! I can’t even count the number of times I’ve reread this au. The prose and symbolism??? BRO. This is probably my fav DN fic of all time man like if you want something that feels real you have to read this. You get cop!L, Light working in a flower shop, Matt/Mello owning a small town diner, L, B, and A backstory, those classic small town drug rings, and a twist ending that made me sob. Everything this fic does, it does right and I cannot rec it enough

If I Could Walk Away From Me by Sidoh | multichap | incomplete | 6k| mature | canon divergence | Matt/Mello: this fic said fuck yeah trans rights! It’s a sort of coming of age story feat. trans!Mello and how his relationship develops with Matt over the years. This fic isn’t complete but every chapter can be read as a standalone anyway so there’s no need to fear the cliffhanger

I Just Want Love by Ligerlilly | multichap | complete | 81k | mature | orphan!Light | lawlight: this fic has that Light angst content and who doesn’t love that? The plot twists and angst are def what make this fic...that could just be the orphan!Light lover in me tho

Leave the Light On by Ne Quittez Pas | multichap | complete | 71k+ | teen | stalker au, slow burn | lawlight: Oh I love this fic def my fav stalker au! This fic feats. innocent!Light who is dragged into the Kira case accidentally because there’s some connections between Light’s stalker and L’s case. It’s so iconique and has the Paxton Stamp of Approval™ so you should definitely read it. It does a great job of building suspense both case-wise and relationship-wise and there are some super tense moments that I think were executed really really well

Pictures on Skin by Shadow_of_Quill | one-shot | 3k | general audiences | um the au is in the name | lawlight: so this fic functions almost like a soulmate au except instead of having a soulmate mark it’s a bunch of every-event-that-shapes-you-throughout-your-life marks and you get them as you go rather than all at once like some kinda fortune reading. There’s some hella symbolism in here man and the ending is fluffy af. 10/10 (those ten all being me) will reread and recommend

Prima Facie by Serria | one-shot | 6k+ | teen | canon compliant | gen: this is sort of a missing scene following the fake execution when Light’s dad ‘shot’ him. I love this fic because mmm trauma

Scarlet Letter by RobinRocks | multichap | complete | 23k+ | mature | canon divergence | I can’t explain the shipping here and y’know what? neither can the author: okay man this is the pinnacle of DN horror fic the only thing that even compares is the torture fic I rec’d above and this isn’t a torture fic it’s just that good. This is psychological horror done perfectly and another fic I’ve reread a shit-tonne. I can’t really explain the plot of this one without spoiling everything but basically B returns during the Kira case to screw with L one last time and Light gets dragged into it. As far as B fics go, this is probably the best. You’ll never see the twist coming at the end man you just have to read it

Seeking His Hand by magic__mind | multichap | incomplete | 134k+ | explicit | historical au | lawlight: so this fic hasn’t updated in like two years but it’s a lawlight classic and if I don’t tell you to read it someone else will. You get fluff and courting and murder! What more do you need in life? Def not a satisfying conclusion

Stolen Away by RobinRocks | multichap | complete | 20k | teen | role reversal au | lawlight: this fic is pretty much just L being a really good thief and a terrible flirt. Lots of shenanigans

The Golden Son, Light by Serria | one-shot | 5k | teen | canon compliant | gen: this is sort of a character study of Light by Sachiko that kinda doubles as a character study for her as well. Deals with themes of depression

The Shadow of the Other by tartpants | multichap| incomplete | 127k | explicit | reincarnation au??? | lawlight: sooooo this fic hasn’t updated in 4 years but the cap was 5 so HA. Another Big Fav, this fic is a really niche au that’s sort of reincarnation sort of not? It’s hard to explain but basically L and Light are placed into their alternate selves from a canon divergence timeline in order to battle it out in an attempt to save the universe (which looks like a kitten--yes that is a relevant detail).....yeah it’s niche like I said. BUT I WOULDNT INCLUDE IT ON YOUR REC LIST IF IT WASN’T GOOD AND TRUST ME THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATS. Both canon!L and canon!Light are like so in character it’s scary and the lives of their au selves are just as intriguing (probably even more so) and the conflict that comes up with trying to meld their two lives and memories for the purpose of this game...wow. In addition, you get to see a lot more Naomi, L has two cases to solve, there’s two death notes in the world (one possesed by an OC I will love until the day I die), and you get this overlying soul redemption quest throughout the whole thing. Honestly this fic deserves its own post and even tho it’s incomplete you have to read it

What I Do For Rent Money by CheshireCity | one-shot | 9k | mature | college au, roomate au | Matt + Beyond: this is the dynamic duo you didn’t know you needed man. Matt and B are so funny in this fic even with the gory imagery involved. I reread this fic pretty much every time I remember that it exists which means I’m do for another go at it and everyone is super in character. There’s this plot twist at the end tho ohman I never get sick of this one it’s so fun

you’re a wasp nest by raisuki (inthegripofahurricane) | one-shot | 6k+ | college au, blind!Light | lawlight: snarky lawlight is pretty much the sum-up of this au. It’s a lil angsty, a lil fluffy, and a pretty fun read. College student!L is something we needed more of in canon and this fic delivers. Tbh tho I read this mostly for Sayu she’s only mentioned in the fic but she’s such s turd I love it

[odditycollector]

Anti-Parallel Evolution

[disclaimer: as always with just-so stories, i'm talking 'what i enjoy believing' not 'true with any authority']

This is kinda a continuation of my semi recent homestuck myth post, and kinda a continuation of my not even a little recent blackrom post**.

**[Which I think still holds up, although if I was re-writing it today I'd put either way less or way more effort into bullshitting the low-level mechanisms of reproduction, 'cause that's the least thought-out part & it shows. tldr: I enjoy believing trolls have many more than 2 parents.]

And alas but I've gotta ruin the "true thing” hidden in the homestuck myth post to go on with this one.

It's the last bit, where the early proto-trolls were, as a swarm, a single(ish?) superorganism in the way that a colony of earth ants or termites or bees can be best understood as a single superorganism, but then as the trolls evolved they became more and more individualistic until they are as we meet them.

Things that make more sense this way:

variation between "castes"

eg, why are there sea trolls? why are deep blue trolls apparently hoarding all the superstrength? why are there powers that you'd expect to find in yellows or ceruleans respectively... but not v.v.?

a: because at one time they were specialized "cells" of a superorganism, where the castes had different functions like how ants have soldiers and workers and breeders.

and those divisions were either too useful (for some definition of "useful") or too genetically baked in to be completely erased yet even if they've blurred.

incestuous slurry

eg, if the endgame is sexual reproduction, why not just have two parents and less confusion (even if imo it would be a waste of thinking about aliens)

a: because primitive superorganisms, to the best of my knowledge of science's knowledge, only hold together when they are all genetically similar. (This is why a cell in your liver is willing to cast its lot with a cell in your brain it will never meet.) Otherwise, individuals will *cheat* - find a way to reproduce outside what is best for the entire superorganism, and after that there are *more* genetic cheaters, who cheat more, and then... death by extremely slow existential cancer, is almost what it sounds like I'm describing here?

How genetically similar *are* trolls then?

no idea, but here is the thing: even if genetic similarity is GREAT for cooperation, it is CRAP for being a viable species that is not going to go the way of the genetically identical eating bananas - currently in the process of all getting killed by one disease strain. And if you're an r-selected** species - many many children, low resource investment, low survival to adulthood rates - you can afford to do a lot of genetic experimenting (ie, have a high mutation rate) because the fucked up ones will just die, like most of them do anyway, and hey, you never know.

**[Or close enough for this post.]

So this is what I'm positing.

your dna goes into the slurry, baby trolls come out of the slurry. check. but which baby trolls are made of YOUR dna in particular? Well, who's counting, but probably a lot. like "more than you'd get with 2 parents per troll" a lot.

If you have 20 paired chromosomes and (with some help >;) ), you split them down the middle and make 2 kids with half your dna each, you have an investment in getting those 2 kids as far in life as you can, because that's the whole you.

but split them further - say one chromosome per kid - and now you have *40* kids you're invested in seeing survive in order for there to be a whole copy of you still floating around in the 2nd generation.

But at the same time, you have way *less* of an investment in each one of those 40 than when it was only 2. And again, who's counting? Any number of the baby trolls crawling inside the caverns could have bits of you in their mix.

Instead of caring a *lot* about *some* members of your species, you care a *little* about *all* of them.

Maybe that's enough to get a species to hang out together? That'd be worth the energy it’d cost to do it if it'd be so.

That and... *one* other thing.

Cheaters, remember?

The way insects do it is central control. The non-queen individuals biologically cannot** reproduce on their own terms.

**[or close enough for this post]

oh hey, *who does that sound like*?

The thing I like to believe is trolls don't make eggs on their own, and haven't for millions and millions of years, b/c once upon a time when they still did make eggs they parasitized the proto-mothergrub species the way wasps lay their eggs in caterpillars, and this became proto-trolls parasitizing the proto-mothergrub species by making them make eggs containing proto-troll dna, and this became whatever is going on today.

(If you think that is too neat and unlikely you should look into the terrifying shit Earth insects have managed to get up to.)

So, with all that, could a species introduce significant genetic variation at the individual level and still survive as a superorganism?

Well...

it *didn't*, did it?

[And here's a thought.

[Spiders - singular insects - are r-selected the way trolls seem to be. Lots of eggs, few to reach adulthood, competition intense.

[but are *hive bees* r-selected?

[arguably, they are not. bee colonies don't make as many new bees as possible, they only make as many new bees as they need, and they provide the baby bees honey to eat and nursemaids to take care of them until they become adult bees.

[and isn't it kinda weird that post-pupation trolls seem somehow, like, *injured* by growing up by themselves in a harsh world, even though it “should” be what they are evolved for?

[Maybe they're meant to be less r-selected than we assume.

[That last bit's not What I Like To Believe(tm), but it's a thought.]

Wow that single quick intro paragraph got away from me a little :/

Anyway, parallel evolution is when two species, faced with similar constraints, evolve similar traits to deal with those constraints.

eg, flying squirrels and flying lizards both glide around on flaps of skin, but they have not shared an ancestor for a very very long time - They both developed the flying thing separately.

Humans... okay, we all know about humans, right? We were once more individualistic creatures but then we slowly, piecemeal, learned the trick of inter-group cooperation and used it to take over the world.

So humans were individuals who learned group-ishness, and trolls were a group that learned individuality, and then we all met together somewhere in the middle.

That’s what I think would be cool.

[bonus question: Humans have developed *intER*group cooperation. Trolls were starting from a place of *intRA*group connection and working backwards. Which one of us d'you suppose would be better at making interspecies friends, come alien contact?]

And the interesting part is, in both cases, you get there the same way.

via neoteny!

neoteny is when a species evolves to keep more child-like traits into adulthood. It's what fuels the domestication process - being docile and curious and trusting and friendly is a phase for *babies*. ...And/or any species that 1. naturally goes through that phase and 2. hangs around humans too long.

Including humans.

We are all giant whiny babies who have no one to blame but ourselves. That is science facts.

And genes are complicated and stuff so when you change the behaviour of a species you change the physical traits of the species as well, and a domesticated animal will keep child-like markings/features/etc into adulthood and that's why dogs have floppy ears.

But! Back to homestuck trolls.

It is easy to read what we are given in-comic as "these kids are growing less violent as they get older, and at the very beginning of their humanoid life - the 'trials' - they had to be really quite vicious indeed".

To illustrate my headcanons here’s a snippet from an old thing I wrote:

At about 5 sweeps is where things get interesting.

The trials are long over, and so the slow wave of settlement. There are enough resources to go around; bloodlust is falling out of fashion with the inexorable change of brain hormones. Suddenly, everyone is interested in figuring out the *rules*.

or:

“Yes,” she says. “Sure. Right. Karkat, you’ve survived this long with less challenge than anyone else I’ve known. Here.”

Kanaya pries the book from him and searches through it for a passage. “…proximity to the parasite has been observed to actuate the development of premature empathy in adolescent trolls.”

“Premature empathy,” Karkat repeats. “You mean that being around me makes trolls less aggressive. Just by *existing* at you, I made you *weak*. Oh fuck. I’m so sorry.”

I could argue my case in depth but it's not that unusual a theory and I don't wanna go on another whole essay tangent.

But the kid trolls only know what adults are like from their media, which is explicitly mentioned to make stuff just for kids, who are into violence. Maybe the troll child-friendly channel is the one with all the goriest stuff on it, idk, but I def. do not believe there is no adult-audienced media anywhere in the fleet.

So like

Humans: Neoteny --> more childlike --> more trusting, curious, and friendly

Trolls: Neoteny --> more childlike --> more individualistic and uncooperative

See? *backwards*

(And Her Imperious Condescension sure looks cool to the hs troll kids, but maybe she's just a spoiled brat who never really grew up. Not like THAT's not a theme for Homestuck villains.)

And now... here we are.

And the real reason I brought us all this way is because it opens up an potentially amusing cultural mismatch.

We have certain associations with facial proportions, right? It's neoteny all over again (and also some sexism but).

And maybe trolls have the opposite associations... for the same reasons**!

**[Yes I am assuming trolls have similar childhood traits because otherwise it isn’t funny.]

here are some neoteny linked traits:

low, large eyes small chin, nose large head:body size ratio short stature invokes the general abstract concept of roundness somehow etc.

Human RX:

adorable! helpless/vulnerable/needs protection i just met it and i loooove it! does it need hugs cause i have extra hugs just lying around here compelled to hold/pet/cuddle it

Troll RX (suggested):

vicious/violent/dangerous leave it alone or it will bite you probably unpredictable/disloyal selfish likely to end up dead anyway so not really worth caring about instinctual revulsion (judging from karkat + grubs)

and some anti-neotony linked traits:

smaller eyes, higher in head larger nose, jaw taller with smaller head:body ratio etc.

Human RX:

more likely to be dangerous (poss. in protection of itself/bonded others) suffers fools less than gladly, see also: unwanted attention self-sufficient jealous of resources/not good at sharing closed off/suspicious

Troll RX (hypothesized):

more emotionally stable more socially adept/a potential friend or ally competent/proven sex haver competent/proven at self protection safer to let down your guard around it able to usefully cooperate in groups towards shared goal

Okay? Okay.

okay......

So then imagine Karkat's reaction the first time he gets a puppy shoved in his face.

:)

The end.

I'm out of typing now.

[jiminspromise-remade]

1-hey karyl can I ask u smth ? basically I have my best friend who I really love but recently she did smth that really pissed me off. Thing is in my country the education system is SHIT like even employers know it and theyll always pick som1 with a foreign degree over a local one. So I applied to a bunch of unis abroad and im really nervous cause i already wasted a year (i graduated hs last june but ive had to deal with family shit) and usually unis prefer people fresh out of hs

2-I was telling my friend about how nervous I am abt this and how much of a disaster it would be if i didnt get incause who would accept som1 2 years after they graduated and she was like “oh i wish u wouldnt get in but I know u will” cause basically she wants me to stay with her even tho it wouldnt be good for me and implying im selfish even tho i worked my ass off for this opportunity ? and that was really offputting idk am I overreacting ? Anyways thanks for reading this shit love youuuuu💘

o boy… this got…very long fdjskgfk i had to put it under a read more hhh

first off, i know its late but i wanna congratulate you on graduating high school!! im proud of you. you worked hard and that really is something worth celebrating!!

second, youre not overreacting dw!!

sometimes friends do things that tick you off, and that’s normal because you cant get along with someone all the time 24/7, we cant even get along with ourselves sometimes lmao. but!! what your friend is implying really is selfish, and if she constantly thinks about her wellbeing over hers, then shes the only one whos happy. the person thats selfish in this situation is her, since she is hindering you from good life experiences, and situations like this can be worked around. nobody should be getting in your way for an opportunity to get a better education, especially since you feel that way about your education system. she should understand why youre doing this, i mean, you live in the same place– she should know what the limitations of education is there, and she should know how much of a great opportunity it is for you to have the chance to expand yourself instead of thinking “oh. you cant leave me because then ill be sad :(” because to me, i feel like that will just bring me down even more. 

talk to your friend, tell her that she should consider your feelings more too, and that if there really comes a time that the two of you will be separated, this is a time you can thank technology for existing. the world has gotten so advanced and we’re all so connected through the internet its beautiful!! we’re capable of making friends without having to fly anywhere. save money live better LOL

you can message each other, skype/facetime, and even plan trips for you to go back home or for her to visit you if ever you leave. if she still doesnt understand then im sorry to say that your friend is… not a very good friend. it can get really hard to actually really tell yourself “is this person really good for me or are we just here because of how much time we’ve spent together?” and ofc i’ll leave that to you to evaluate, but if attitudes like this from her persist and its bringing your mood down, then like.. is she really a good friend? 

there are so many things in life you have to sacrifice and work around to be able to achieve your goals. a friend is supposed to be there to support you, not guilt trip you and give you second thoughts about opportunities like this. since i dont know her i obviously cant tell you “cut ties rite now!!” bc thats not right lol im not in the position to do that, and to be able to distinguish supportive, good, kind, loving friends from the. …. opposite of that is growth. very painful growth, but its growth!! 

also!! i just want to say, take your time. i know you might feel “behind” since youre not fresh out of high school, but everyone has their own pace. it took me a while, but dont compare your own goals to other people’s goals because thats what really slows you down and makes you doubt over things not worth doubting over. believe in yourself!!! you’ll get accepted somewhere ok trust me 💝💝💝

if you still want to apply to more schools, you can try applying here in canada if you havent yet!! i know university of toronto is pretty good, as well as university of BC, university of alberta, university of calgary, macewan university, and even colleges like norquest and nait!! 

good luck with everything and i’ll keep you in my thoughts 😌 not 2 be that cheesy bich but you can do anything if you really, really put your mind into it. positive thinking does wonders!!! my first year of uni was rough like i didnt kno what the fuck i was doing LOL but i pulled thru!! put 100% effort into everything you do bc you never know where that effort will lead to ❣️❣️❣️

[stuckonserotonin]

Do all he questions ?

I did most!

1. Are looks important in a relationship?I would be lying if I said no
2. Are relationships ever worth it?Absolutely
3. Are you a virgin?Nope
7. Can you commit to one person?Absolutely
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?I believe in a click. I believe in knowing that person will mean something to you.
11. Do you ever want to get married?Yes!
12. Do you forgive betrayal?Not always
13. Do you get jealous easily?Unfortunately 
15. Do you have any piercings?Two old ones but I don’t have anything in them
16. Do you have any tattoos?13 of them!
17. Do you like kissing in public?Honestly no but it doesn’t stop me
20. Do you shower every day?Usually yes. I’d be lying if I said absolutely lol.
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?I’d hope so lol
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?I’d hope so lmao
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?I could last my entire life friend
24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?Nope and I don’t wanna be
26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?Many people lol 
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?Yes
28. Have you ever been cheated on?Only almost every relationship I’ve ever been in 🙃
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?Nope!
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?Yes my boobs actually 
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?Yep
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?Yes and no? That’s hard to answer
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?Nope
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?Yes
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yes
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?No, I have this weird problem where I can’t develop feelings for friends lmao. I know for some people they like being friends first but that’s just odd to me. Once we’re friends and I hear your stories, most feelings are gone for me.
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yes
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?Poem yes
41. Have you had sex so far this year?Nope
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?Not sure I haven’t timed it but probably not long lol
43. How long was your longest relationship?A year and a month
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?2 girlfriends since I’ve been in college. High school relationships are crucial and made me who I am, but they don’t really count when they were so short and stupid lmao
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?Omg idk. 4 lol, I can’t believe I really just counted that 😂
46. How many times did you have sex last year?Oh god….. a lot idk lol
47. How old are you?20
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?No
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?Yes
52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?Everyone in my past because I’ve moved on to a better life. No diss to them, just pushing myself to be better.
54. Is there someone you will never forget?Absolutely
55. Share a relationship story.One time I dated a girl who cheated on me and told me I deserved it and then came into my senior math class crying and begging for me back. Most embarrassing thing I’ve ever dealt with.
56. State 8 facts about your bodyI have moles on my belly that look like a constellationI have lots of freckles on my face, shoulders, and chestI have a lot of tattoosI have a scar on my right knee from a go kart accidentI have a scar on my arm from my friend burning me with a stickI have a fucked up left knee that gives out at least once a dayI have 12 fillingsI still have fucked up skin colors on my legs from a severe sun burn I got in California this past summer
57. Things you want to say to an exThank you for making me a better person
58. What are five ways to win your heart?Listen to me, reassure me what I mean, make me laugh a lot, sing to me, trace your fingers on my face while I try to fall asleep
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)Go to my face tag!!
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?The biggest age difference was only 1 year exactly younger than me
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?Smile always
63. What is your definition of “having sex”?Having sex….
64. What is your definition of cheating?Anything you feel the need to hide from your s/o or would be uncomfortable telling them
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Take me under the stars when they’re bright and bright bdubs mild boneless wings 
68. What is your sexual orientation?Gay but ya know, whatever happens. I’ll marry a girl though.
69. What turns you off?Talking about other people
70. What turns you on?Neck kissing
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?Buy me bdubs mild boneless wings
74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?A nice smile
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?Probably this guy who brought me flowers to my basketball game sophomore year of HS and arranged them in the shape of my number
76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?I made an email account and emailed it every so often and then gave them the account info so they could read what I wrote
77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?As long as they’re out of high school and have the same goals and feelings, go for it
78. What’s your dirtiest secret?Now if it’s a secret, why would I tell it?
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?Tonight and I’m not saying why lol I’m sorry 
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?Today my mom 🙃
81. Who are five people you find attractive?Shay Mitchell, Blake Lively, Camila Cabello, Diane Guerrero, Emma Stone
82. Who is the last person you hugged?My friend Kemmie
83. Who was your first kiss with?Some dumb boy lol 
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?That’s my last two relationships lol